just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
false alarm. still invincible.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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