I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
