Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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