no you cant smoke seaweed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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