Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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