I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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