I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
