I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
