If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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