Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
