Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How does one acquire holy water?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
