he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
