he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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