I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Mom said you looked used
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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