So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
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Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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