My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
