I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm getting married
To pizza
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
