I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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