I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
