its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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