I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
