Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
