so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
