I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
