That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
