guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
