you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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