Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize