Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if i can run in heels then i can drive
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
