The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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