I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
