I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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