White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
