I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
