can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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