the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
