someone threw a dead crab at me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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