just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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