i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
