Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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