You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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