how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
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I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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