okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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