if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize