I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
did i walk over a car last night?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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