just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
