why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
