my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
