He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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