i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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