I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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