I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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