Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
