i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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