So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
