i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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