The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
