I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Someone signed my nipple.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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