smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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