Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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