My room smells like vodka and shame
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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