am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
