I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
