she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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