Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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