Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
